lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
