If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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