all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
