i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
