so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
