Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
