I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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