good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
