I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
