So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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