i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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