her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
