i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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