Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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