if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
