I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Hippo gnu deer
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
