I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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