Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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