someone threw a dead crab at me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
