Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
