Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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