we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
