oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
