They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
