after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
