i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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