Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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