The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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