He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
