I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
