I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
