and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
