SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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