ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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