The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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