No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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