drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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