honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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