if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
