I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
