its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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