all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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