I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
