You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
