Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
