he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
