With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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