I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
