Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
