We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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