capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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